Monday, May 3, 2010

Negging Your Way to An HB's Heart


Chris, a twenty year old young man walks into a crowded Irish bar. He spots an attractive curvaceous blonde woman in her late twenties or early thirties. She is sitting on a bar stool next to a brunette girl, surrounded by three hunky guys. Any average man would not dare to approach the blonde femme in this intimidating scenario. Yet Chris has a secret weapon. He confidently approaches the group and says, “Hey did you guys see those two girls fighting outside the bar?” The group looks at him in awe. “No dude. That’s crazy! I wish I had,” says one of the hunky men. Chris has now entered the group and he is ready to start playing the game.

In 1995, Neil Strauss, writer and self-proclaimed pick-up artist, published his best-selling book “The Game,” in which he recounts his transformation from an awkward shy man, or an AFC (average frustrated chump), to a witty pick up artist by the name of Style.

In 2005, Strauss conducted a seminar for 43 guys who considered themselves “lost cases” in the art of seduction. According to the pick-up artist, 34 ended up with girlfriends, they had 53 one-night-stands, and two threesomes. In the summer of 2006, he led the Stylelife Challenge for 180 guys, in which the group accomplished 157 girlfriends, 274 one-night-stands, and 7 threesomes. In 2007, Strauss founded the Style Life Academy, the world’s first attraction-seduction school. Through this pick-up artist community Style, along with other seduction experts, is able to transmit his knowledge to other AFC’s and allegedly help them attract any "HB" (hot babe) they desire without blatantly hitting on her.

The key in seducing a woman, Strauss states, is to “ignore the woman you desire while winning over her friends. If the target is attractive and used to men fawning all over her, the pick-up artist must intrigue her by pretending to be unaffected by her charm.” A man must resort to a “neg,” an accidental insult or backhanded compliment intended to lower a woman’s self-esteem.

According to “Evolve”, senior attraction-coach of the Stylelife Academy, “The Style life method helps women to realize for themselves they are attracted to you. This is what is called Flipping a Female’s Attraction Switch and that is totally opposed to you worshipping a woman and putting her on a pedestal to like you more. If someone bribes us and worships us to show their devotion we’re going to feel superior and disrespect them. Many times, we have a subconscious desire to reject them.” Evolve assures that the Stylelife method actually compels a woman to ask you to spend time with her.

AUP psychologist major, Andrea Olguin, says unpredictability is an important factor in attracting a woman. “A man who uses an unusual approach, which could manifest itself in the form of disinterest or rudeness, triggers a woman’s curiosity. Her disability to decipher him makes her perceive the man as a challenge and is automatically aroused,” Olguin says. (More expert feedback will be added)

Does all of this sound too good to be true? How can a group of nerdy guys go from using computer game codes to codes of seduction? Do pick-up artists’ methods actually work? How does ignoring and “negging” capture a woman’s attention? “If a guy talked to all of my friends and ignores me, I would be annoyed, but I would be intrigued. I would want his attention just for the sake of getting his attention,” says Karen Ferguson, 32.

Yet when Chris, tries this method on her, things do not look so bright for him. The minute he starts “negging her” by ignoring her and telling one of the hunky guys how loud she is after she tries to join the conversation, she gives him an irritated look, whispers something to her girlfriend and the two girls leave to the bathroom. A couple of minutes later, the girls are out of the bathroom and the three hunky guys have made their away towards them- far, far away from Chris. It would be safe to say that Chris has epically failed.

People are desperate to find a manual to the game of love. Many former AFC’s who are now self-proclaimed PUA’s (pick up artists) of the Stylelife Academy claim they have. Yet many, who like Chris, have invested their time and money in seduction coaching and have been utterly unsuccessful, have nothing but feelings of animosity against Strauss. “I thought some of the methods in his book were flat out ridiculous, but I trusted the dude. He seemed real. Now I’m walking home alone feeling like the biggest creep on Earth,” says Chris. After two rum and cokes he seems to get over it. He meets his friends who arrive for moral support and they depart to another bar in search of cute college girls. This time, he will use a more conventional approach: offer a girl a drink and give her a few corny compliments. Negging her is not an option.

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